I get a lot of requests for pet portraits. I like drawing them more than I do humans. People tend to get very critical of their features when portrayed by an artist. Dogs and cats can’t voice their opinion. This little lady had missing teeth and her tongue sticks out of the side of her mouth.

Imagine drawing a human with the same problem.

When I was in college – a hundred years ago – I would frequent Gwen’s Irish Pub after class. Since I had little to no money, I would draw portraits on bar napkins for beers. Keep in mind, a hundred years ago, ten ounce beers were eighty five cents each. Mere pocket change to most people.

I had it really good back then.

One night, this big hairy biker comes up to me and asks me to draw his old lady.

“No problem”, I said. That’s what I do.

Now, I have a theory about humility and God. I am confident, he wants to see me succeed in life, but not as a pompous self-promoter. Whenever I start to get full of myself, God has a way of helping me see the errors of my ways. Usually, in real time.

When his woman turned around, I literally looked past her, thinking she was a dude. No kidding. Talk about a buzzkill.

So, I faked drawing motions for a couple of minutes so I could figure out what the hell I was going to do. There was no way I could make this woman look feminine. To make matters worse, she knew I was sketching her, so she was striking sexy poses for me.

She turned around to join the conversation at the bar and then it hit me. Her hair was long and pretty and she had an okay butt. The dudeness factor is greatly minimized. So, I drew her backside. I even drew her draped on her big hairy boyfriend. They liked it, the end.

True story